I think the boys in our lives must get a little annoyed with us foodie people when we get a hold of the Superbowl Sunday game day menu.
Tomato Basil Bruschetta?
Spicy Humus and Whole Wheat Pita Chips?
I’m sure their swollen, football-pumping veins must vibrate a smidge as they forcefully will themselves not to go Hulk and lose their football sh** when they discover there is not a lil’ smokey or Dorito in sight.
That’s why I don’t even try it.
I don’t even tempt myself with the idea that new, untested foods are welcome on game day.
We have our menu.
We stick with it.
Fortunately for me, I get to keep my tomato basil bruschetta – because they all like it – they just call it something else: “Sauce that Makes You Cough” – because it’s large part balsamic vinegar, and it does, in fact, make you cough if you choose to inhale it rather than eat it like a mannered human being.
Not that I’ve ever inhaled.
But I think. . . I THINK, I could sneak these crackers onto the coffee table and nestle them between the barbecue meatballs and the hot artichoke and mozz cheese dip.
Who am I kidding.
I know I could.
I made these yesterday – and on the third try, I figured it out.
They’re almost paper-thin.
They taste like a mix between a Wheat Thin and a gourmet Italian breadstick.
They’re salty and crunchy, and they hint at deep, dark cheesiness – like the dark brown cheese on the crust of a hot pizza.
The trick here, to get the thin, thin, THIN and crunchy crackers, is to roll the living daylights out of them.
And I apologize for my frequent use of a Silpat mat - in case you don’t have one, but it’s really the best way to go about it. They don’t slip around on the counter while you’re rolling, you don’t need to flour a surface, and the dough sticks to the mat as you’re rolling, but doesn’t stick once it’s cooked. It’s the perfect combination.
I do believe you could also roll on parchment, but in that case, I would suggest you tape your parchment paper to the counter.
I’m not kidding.
Otherwise, you’ll be chasing it all over the kitchen and cursing me.
But really – just go buy a darn mat. The link above is actually a really great price for two.
The crackers though – once you make your dough, divide it in 4 equal portions.
Then roll each portion out individually, and try, try, try, to spread that 1/4 portion of dough over the entire mat.
It will be incredibly thin, but that’s what you need.
And Voila! Paper thin snack crackers made in your very own kitchen sans funky preservatives and yellow 40.
And really – in case you were concerned, I already know these have passed the snacking test. Half the bowl was gone roughly 10 minutes after my husband walked in the door yesterday.
That’s two-thumbs up from the biggest football fan in our house.