Guys – things are getting a little crazy around here.
October 1st, I did something I never ever in a million years thought I would do.
I embarked on the Whole30 Program with my husband.
Yes, yes. After mocking super strict and wildly restrictive diets (from my perspective), I went and did it.
Just call me Home is Where the Hypocrites Are. . . .
Why did I allow myself to be suckered in? I don’t really know, actually.
Curiosity mostly. I am happy with my weight, but not so much this aggravating belly thing that fluffs out over the top of my jeans.
And it’s a challenge. Sometimes, I am up for a good challenge. I just don’t know yet if this is one of those times.
I’m chalking it up to more of a nutritional experiment than a diet.
I want to see if I become more energized, if my annoying muffin top will magically shrink into nothingness instead of lounging over the top of my waistband, and if we can stabilize mood swings in the household. . . (who, me??).
And because (sorry Honey), I’d do almost anything to get my Lovely to kick his Diet Coke habit if even for just 30 days.
So when he called from work and said his friend was throwing around the idea, I jumped on board.
We flung ourselves haphazardly into this thing, poorly prepared and blind as a couple of cookie and Diet Coke stuffed bats.There was roughly NO preparation as we launched into the program, so. . . .
Day 1, for me, was a bit of a disaster.
Not being familiar with the “meal map”, as they call it, I under-ate. Therefore, I left myself ravenous at 2:30pm as I sat in the library with my Littlest.
I began to contemplate what my arm would taste like, then realized hers would probably taste MUCH better. . . .
Day 2, I discovered the meal map.
Only I misunderstood it and overate.
Now I feel like this guy:
I felt stuffed when I went to bed last night, and I still feel stuffed today.
Let’s see if day 3 actually works out for me.
So far, I am anything but sold on the greatness of this Paleo lifestyle.
I know, I know.
Two days of incorrect eating can hardly tell us anything.
My body is mostly in shock right now because I crammed my face hole with veggies and eliminated two of my most favorite foods in the whole wide world: sugar and cheese.
Lord help me.
Jesus ate bread, didn’t he? Aaaaaaaand he drank wine – both of which are also no-go’s on this thing.
And Black Coffee? Well. . . you’re not nearly as fun and interesting as your friend with cream and sugar, but I guess you’ll do for the time being.
The thing is, my commitment level is so low (curiosity is a measly motivator), and we have danger zones everywhere – like my pretty little cake plate in the kitchen that is currently displaying these apple pie cookie bars.
Which – by the way – are perfect.
Apple pie flavor in a buttery cookie form?
Delicious. . .
And off-limits to me.
OH! And, my brother-in-law sent us another 30 lb box of candy.
None other than jellybeans, and folks – if you’ve been around these parts for any length of time – you know I have a little love affair with those things.
Currently they are buried under three other boxes in the garage. I’m not letting them out. . . pretty much because they are pure evil.
But you, my friends. . . YOU can eat apple pie cookie bars right now, and I’m convinced you should.
Do it for me.
They’re pretty much awesome and should be enjoyed by someone at least.
Oh, and sorry I was MIA for so long – our internet was down again.
I’ll catch you down the road somewhere.
Hopefully I’ll be in a good mood, I won’t be trying to gnaw off any of my own body parts, and I won’t feel like Mr. Fat Girraffe anymore.
Now go shove some baked apple goodness in your face for me!