Driving Blindfolded

Simply say yes; Driving blindfolded

This is a never-posted oldie, but it was the start of the story that’s currently underway. I didn’t want to post in real-time, because what if it went nowhere? What if I failed? What if, what if, what if?? But I don’t care anymore. I’ll catch you up, and then we can watch it unravel together. We’re going back to June 2013 here. It’s similar to some of the posts I’ve published before, but for some reason I felt much more wary of posting this one in particular. Since it’s the true beginning I didn’t want to leave it out, so I do apologize if it feels repetitive. . . but so began the journey.

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Brave

BRAVE

Brave is something I am not.

At least, not voluntarily.

Brave is something I have to force onto myself, like forcing a bath on a 5-year-old boy.

You must do it. You have to do it to keep yourself healthy and strong and growing.

But, after all my 30+ years, and plenty of opportunities to practice at it, I still stink at “brave”.

I wear cowardice like an old comfortable sweatshirt. It’s my habit, and it’s way easier.

Keeping the pot smooth and unstirred?  Shrinking from conflict? Ahhh. My specialties. Those are my secret hiding places. They are where I can breathe. How deep, exactly? Hmm. Good question. Continue reading

DIY Garbage Bowl

Me, the girl, and the plastic mare

That’s me and my girl right there. All three feet and thirty some-odd pounds of her.

Oh. . . and that’s a twenty year old plastic mare named Unicorn poking her head out of my purse.

We shop in a threesome sometimes.

Mostly at fancy places like Sally Beauty Supply, Costco, and Winn Dixie. Continue reading

Pumpkin Pie Spiced Coffee; Fresh and Clear

Pumpkin Pie spiced coffee

Don’t you worry.

I’m not going to brush off all the wonders of fall flavors by shoving spiced coffee in your face.

There’s some baked apple goodness coming your way in a couple of days, and I will shove that in your face,  but this. . . .

This coffee thing just happened yesterday. Continue reading

Poised and Ready

Poised and Ready

 

Food for thought. . . .

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We’re laying here, the two of us, snuggled together on the living room floor.

We’re zipped into a fat green sleeping bag – little Her on the left, and big Me on the right.

Together we make a plump, chartreuse caterpillar that bounces every time she rolls to her side to puff a warm-breathed love note in my ear.

I savor the breeze of the words each time she steams up the side of my face with her sing-song, “I loooooove you Mommy!”

“I love you too, I love you too, I love you too,” I think hard as I squeeze and smooch her enough to elicit giggles from her gut and another juice-breathed, “I loooooooove you Mommy!” in my ear.

Please again. . . . 

In my heart I’m struggling with the giddy beauty of this moment as it plays hard against the fresh and raw truth that my boys are getting bigger.

This is no surprise. Continue reading